Bride Enforces A ‘No Ring, No Bring’ Rule, And The Groom’s Best Friends Are Not Exempted
Louise Peralta
Attending your best friend’s wedding is expected, but it’s not required.
Lots of questions may come up as to why you wouldn’t (or couldn’t) attend a wedding, but at the end of the day, it’s your life, and it’s your decision.
AITA for opting out of my best friend's wedding because they didn't invite my gf?
OP clearly stated his reason for not going to his best friend’s wedding. Now let’s see why he thinks he might be the a-hole here.
So OP, his gf, and his best friend, Brad, have known each other since high school and were in the same friend group. They’re all close, I’m assuming. And they’re actually close physically too because OP and his gf live just around 2 hours away from Brad and Vicky, his fiancée.
Mary, OP’s gf, is a nurse and is rarely able to meet up or visit Brad’s home with OP.
“Mary has met Vicky and seen her around 10 times in the past 4 years that Vicky is with Brad.”
I’m already guessing that this is the reason why Mary wasn’t invited to the wedding.
Sure, the childhood friends are close, but Mary wasn’t able to bond with Vicky, so I think they’re just acquaintances at this point.
When OP got an invitation to his best friend’s wedding, only his name was written on the invitation. That’s a problem.
OP asked his friend if Mary was invited and they just somehow forgot to include her name on the invitation. Brad said that it was intentional because his fiancée was strict about her rules, which included a ‘no ring, no bring rule.’ Apparently, Mary is really not invited because she is “just a girlfriend.”
“I reminded Brad that Mary and I have been together longer than he's been with Vicky and that Mary is also his friend, not just my partner. He says he knows and tried to talk Vicky out of it, but she's very strict with that.”
OP’s partner said that even though she’s not happy about all this, OP should still go to the wedding to avoid drama. It was Vicky who picked up the phone and apologized when OP decided to call up the soon-to-be-wed couple to tell them that he’ll be attending even though he was upset about the rules.
Vicky seemed to get offended by that and said some harsh things about OP and Mary’s relationship, saying that they were not serious enough and that they didn’t show any signs of true commitment.
OP actually mentioned earlier that he and his girlfriend have plans on getting engaged and married once they are more financially settled, so there’s that.
Rightfully offended, OP told Vicky that it was not her place to validate his relationship with Mary and it was really low of her to use a dumb rule to shame and micromanage long-term couples who haven’t gotten married yet. He also said that he won’t be attending their wedding after all.
“She and Brad said I'm disrespecting them and their choices by choosing Mary over their wedding day, and I said I don't care. Keep your rules and I'll keep my relationship, because it's more important than any exclusive rules that only exist in order to shame people.”
Sadly, their other friends are siding with Brad and Vicky here, and they’re accusing OP of being bitter about something “so small.” Well, the value of a relationship isn’t actually a small issue here, people...
OP was willing to attend the wedding after being urged by his gf. They felt bad about the (dumb) rule, but they were willing to let the issue go just to avoid drama. Frankly, Vicky caused all of this drama, because why would she belittle OP and Mary’s relationship just because OP pointed out her ‘no ring, no bring’ rule?
Also, where was Brad in all of this? Sure, he’s trying to please his would-be wife, but Mary is his childhood friend as well! Couldn’t he have overruled Vicky’s decision for OP and Mary’s invitation?
The verdict is NTA, by the way. There’s no way you can call someone who clearly values his relationship with his partner an a-hole.
Read the original post below!
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/12qn66f/aita_for_opting_out_of_my_best_friends_wedding/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
