Woman Can't Help Asking If She's a Bad Parent After Seeing How Confident and Independent Her Child Is

Woman Can't Help Asking If She's a Bad Parent After Seeing How Confident and Independent Her Child Is

From the day that you were born,
And I held you very close,
I knew in my joyful heart,
That you’re my very precious rose.

My life changed for the better,
I felt it in my heart.
I just knew, for the rest of my life,
We’d never be apart.

Months and years have passed,
And I watched you mature and grow,
I promised myself, forever,
My love for you, I’ll show.

I wish you a beautiful life,
Filled with joy and infinite bliss.
I’ll always be your mother,
And my precious rose, I kiss. -- by Anonymous

Most mothers are not poets. But even those with shy hearts can't help expressing their gratitude and wonder upon carrying a new life from their womb into their arms.

In this anonymous poem, it was a daughter who inspired a mother to call her "her precious rose." And just like what most parents wish for themselves and their beloved children, she wrote: "I just knew, for the rest of my life, We’d never be apart."

But of course, in reality, children grow up and leave the nest to find their own place under the sun. It's a gradual phase, from a baby taking her first steps and learning to eat on her own to attending nursery and becoming more independent in high school and college.

And in time, many of them would have careers and engagements to celebrate.

Some parents find pride and happiness in seeing their children flying high. Other parents suffer from Empty Nest Syndrome, regretting that the years have passed so quickly and left them unprepared for their children's departure.

In this popular post on Mumsnet, a mother wallows in deep loneliness and uncertainty after her 8-year-old daughter left for a school trip. In the young girl's excitement, she forgot to glance back at her mom who, after seeing her off, felt devastated.

TulipVictory wrote: "Okay, I'm just worried I've done something wrong parenting-wise here. My daughter is 8, has never stayed away a night and has gone off on her school trip this morning, said goodbye, and not even looked back. I won't see her until Friday evening. She's never stayed away before. I was worried about her not being able to cope with the overnight stay so almost offered to take her to the day trip and pick her up in the evening so she didn't have to stay the night. But she didn't even seem to care! Have I done something wrong here? I remember overnight stays as a child making me feel sick and nervous and miss my Mum."

Although, this mom was tormenting herself with thoughts of her failings as a parent, Mumsnet commenters disagreed with her. Some of them even congratulated OP for being a good mom who has raised an independent child!

From BakedTattie: "Sounds like you’ve done everything right! You’ve made her strong and independent."

TizerorFizz: "My DDs both went on residentials in year 3. So one DD was 7, the other was still 6. They went off in the coach very happily. I expected them to, as they were keen to go. It’s absolutely the best feeling that you have a confident child who can be happy when not with you. Look at how her world will open up with such confidence! You should be very happy, and she will really enjoy this time with friends! My DDs did a term’s school exchange when they were 13 in South Africa. DH and I didn’t go with them. They just travelled with a friend also doing the exchange. Confidence is a great gift! Be happy about it!"

From BMW6: "Come on OP, you are taking this as if she doesn't care about YOU, so you're miffed! Turn it around and congratulate yourself for raising her to have confidence and independence. Good parenting!"

Yes, OP's already on the right track as far as parenting goes. Her only problem now is teaching herself how to let go...In time, like most parents, whether with rejoicing or tears, she will have to completely let go.

Doris de Luna

For more than 20 years now, I’ve been devoting my heart, energy, and time to fulfilling my dream, which – many people may agree – is not among the easiest aspirations in life. Part of my happiness is having been able to lend a hand to many individuals, companies, and even governments as an investigative journalist, creative writer, TV director, and radio broadcaster.


At home, I spend my free time learning how to cook various cuisines. Tiramisu, chocolate mousse, and banoffee pie are my favorite desserts. Playing with our dogs, Mushu and Jerusalem, is also a special part of my day. And, of course, I read a lot – almost anything under the sun. But what really makes me feel alive is meeting people from various walks of life and writing about their stories, which echo with the tears and triumph of an unyielding spirit, humanity, and wisdom.

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