Children’s core memories often contain family vacations that happen during the summer season. Spontaneous beach trips, going to amusement parks, camping, hiking, lake outings, and more are anticipated whenever school break starts. Kids are ready to have fun with their siblings, cousins, or friends — together, they’ll discover more about themselves and their surroundings. Parents also get to spend time with their children and further build a bond. Sometimes parents would even take a break from responsibilities, especially when the resort has a spa inclusion.

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For this reason, it’s a shame when you cannot spend summer even on a single trip. Such instances mostly happen when work schedules get in the way, half of the family members are unavailable, or due to health complications. However, when the kids are fine, and a guardian could come with them, it would be selfish to deprive them of a fun vacation.

A mother from Reddit shared a similar problem with her husband. WearyTeacherVacation only wanted to take their children out, but instead, she was deemed selfish by her spouse. They actually have a lovely family with two children — a boy and a girl. OP even mentioned that they rarely get into fights. However, an argument began when she mentioned her plans of taking their kids to their vacation home near a large lake.

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Her husband was against the idea because he wouldn't be able to join them due to his work. OP’s a teacher, and the husband has a job in cybersecurity — she has more time off than him. “He said it wouldn't work because he couldn't get the time off, so I said it was fine & while it is a bit daunting, I would be fine with taking them myself and just getting to have quality time with them at the lake, going mini golfing, getting ice cream, etc,” she wrote. “I brought up that I really wanted to be able to go to the lake with our children besides the week we go up when all of our family is there and have quality time with them. Usually, when the rest of my family is there, my kids want to spend all their time with my cousin's kids.”

Although OP mentioned that they don’t often argue, she revealed that planning a trip with her husband has been difficult. The last time she opened up about a vacation in Ireland, it got canceled because her husband could only take five days off. “I'm not paying that much in flights and taking two young children to another country with a five-hour time difference just to go for five days. We ended up not going because I felt guilty that he couldn't go,” WearyTeacherVacation explained. They have been adjusting to his schedule, and OP decided that she should push through with the lake house this time. Since she was determined to continue her plans, her husband started an argument and pointed out that she was being selfish. He said that he was working hard for his career, yet all his wife could think about was going on vacation.

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“I'm not sure what to do. I was so excited when we bought the house at one of my favorite places on earth. Not only that, but now having the means to travel and see family far away, or go to places I've never been before and not even being able to do it without upsetting my life partner is incredibly frustrating,” OP said. She consulted her sister about the issue, only to be painted as the problematic person again. The husband may have a point, but it’s unreasonable to stop someone’s happiness, specifically stopping his family from having a great summer. Redditors in the comment section had similar opinions about the situation, which mostly validated OP’s feelings.

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“I don’t think it’s weird you would want to go - does he expect that you will literally sit in your house throughout the summer while he works? I can see how it would be a bit gutting for him to miss out, but it would be worse for your kids to miss out when you have the means to ensure that they don’t. I think he is the selfish one to be honest,” ClareSwinn commented. The summer trip was indeed planned for the kids, but the husband was too focused on himself. He should’ve also been thankful that his wife was thinking of their children’s happiness.

“NTA. My mom always took us to visit her hometown every year without my dad. It was no big deal, my dad would go on other vacations with us,” Anniemumof2 pointed out. Surely, their family will be visiting the vacation home in the coming years — missing out should not be a problem. Kids grow up fast, and parents should be taking advantage of hanging out with them while they’re still young. The husband could even catch up on the last two or three days of the trip if his schedule could still be adjusted. Married couples should always meet in the middle; otherwise, their children will be mixed into the problem, which should be avoided at all costs. Sometimes you have to let go of the issue or see your partner’s perspective, especially for the sake of the kids.